Finding Yourself First: From Marriage to Self-Discovery

Marilyn returns to share her insights on dating, relationships, and personal growth after moving from Cuba to Las Vegas and navigating life after a 13-year marriage.

• Dating in Las Vegas isn't uniquely challenging—similar issues exist everywhere in the modern dating world
• Learning to be comfortable with being single has been a new and valuable experience after years of relationship-hopping
• Setting and maintaining clear boundaries is essential for healthy relationships
• Energy and presence matter more than looks or money when it comes to attraction
• Building a relationship with someone who's growing versus someone already established offers different challenges and rewards
• Texting others while in a relationship can be more hurtful than physical cheating because of the emotional connection being built
• Women should embrace their feminine energy in relationships rather than competing with masculine energy
• Honesty is the foundation of any healthy relationship—if someone doesn't like your truth, they're not your person
• The right person deserves space in your life, but they have to earn it through commitment and loyalty

Transcript

Episode Introduction with Marilyn

Speaker 1 0:00

Baby girl . You are so pretty , pretty , pretty pretty , baby girl . You are so pretty , pretty , pretty pretty Females . Might you just touch me , touch me , touch me . Elevated Talks and the scenes . You got your boy Standout in the building . You got a returning guest , special guest , marilyn . Marilyn . Tell them where you from , tell them what's up , man , they want they . Hey look , they begged me to have you back on here , the fans . They begged me to have you back on here , the fans . They begged me to have you back on . So what's up ? What's going on ? How you been .

Speaker 2 0:28

Good , can't complain . Just good , keep working and focus at home and nothing new , just the same .

Speaker 1 0:37

I feel like that's like a cliche answer . You know what I mean . I feel like you took a trip .

Speaker 2 0:45

I did .

Speaker 1 0:45

Wait , wait , let's rewind . Let's rewind . Tell the viewers where you from .

Speaker 2 0:50

Cuban . I moved from Cuba here to Vegas in 2009 , always been in Vegas , not that I like it , just that I choose to . And yeah , so I went to Cuba this year beginning of the year March . It was good . It was good yeah .

Speaker 1 1:08

No , it's .

Speaker 2 1:08

I have family Still my dad and siblings are there and we were going , actually my family , my mom and my sister and the babies . We were going to Cuba to bring my mom , my grandma , here .

Speaker 1 1:19

Okay , so going to Cuba , like coming from Cuba , I mean , what made you move out of all places ? Because , like most people I know , come from like Cuba and they go to like Miami or you know somewhere in Florida , new York , and stuff Like what made you come to Vegas ?

Speaker 2 1:35

I love Florida . I love Florida Me too , vegas because my ex-husband was a musician and then he had friends that leave here and and actually offer him a job . So definitely was better used to start with something okay , so you got into that . You moved because of the ex-husband , that's pretty nice , we came together , okay , thank you and then , like your mom and everybody came along with I brought them in , so yeah okay , okay , and then you have a sister , correct ?

Speaker 1 2:03

I do have okay , I think I met your sister before you met my sister .

Speaker 2 2:06

That's how we met . Yes , yes , it's a fun story yeah , yeah , yeah , okay .

Speaker 1 2:09

So how do they like Vegas ?

Speaker 2 2:13

You know , I don't know . I haven't asked that question to be honest , I don't know . I know my mom loved Florida . Every time we can , we go to Florida . Okay , Not to move in because it's too expensive honestly , but Florida , it's my place to go . Maybe once I retire , who knows , what part of Florida is your favorite I like West Palm Beach . Okay , but definitely .

Speaker 1 2:40

Miami yeah , I have a lot of friends and family . That's why .

Speaker 2 2:44

Honestly , that's why I don't even know . I've never been in like a crazy Miami life . I've never experienced that . I always go visit family and friends .

Speaker 1 2:52

So you don't go partying in Miami ? No , to be honest , no , you don't do the club scene , nothing like that .

Speaker 2 2:56

Nope , nope , that's my plan for this summer .

Speaker 1 2:59

Ah , okay , so you want to have a hot girl summer ? Let's see , maybe . Well , hey , have fun with that . I hope you fulfill that . You know what I mean . So let's get back to moving to Vegas . You moved to Vegas with your ex-husband . You guys were I remember you telling us on the last show , but you guys were married . For how long ?

Speaker 2 3:20

Like almost 13 , well , together , since we met , it was our date in like 13 years , yeah .

Speaker 1 3:26

Okay , so you guys were together for 13 years and you moved to Vegas and then , like , coming out of marriage , like how is it coming out of like marriage ? You know , because , like some people like they get divorced or they break up with their significant other , and then , like you got the people that like don't know how to maneuver outside of that space , and then you have people that just like , well , shit , like I was held down for this long , I'm going buck wild , like how was it for you ?

Speaker 2 3:56

honestly , I feel that we were having issues for so long on our marriage that once we broke out , I kind of got into I want to get someone else .

Speaker 1 4:05

Okay .

Speaker 2 4:06

Not crazy . I don't want to go crazy . I don't know how to be crazy like that . So I was like I want to get , I want to fall in love again .

Speaker 1 4:13

Okay .

Speaker 2 4:14

And I was single for too short not even a year and I started dating someone . We were together for like almost five years , four and a half .

Speaker 1 4:23

Oh wow , and it didn't work out either . That's a long time for like .

Speaker 2 4:26

And after him is when I say you know what ? I just want to be alone .

Speaker 1 4:32

I mean , but that's like five years you guys were just dating or you guys were in a full-blown relationship ?

Speaker 2 4:37

No , we were in a full relationship , okay .

Speaker 1 4:40

And this was in Vegas too , or was it long ?

Speaker 2 4:41

distance ? No , it was in Vegas too . Or was it long distance ? No , it was in .

Speaker 1 4:43

Vegas . How would you say ? The dating pool is in Vegas . I hear mixed reviews , so most of the time I hear more women say that the dating pool sucks in Vegas . Right , and then I hear other women say , well , hey , it doesn't suck , it's just that you've got to know what you want in order to play this .

Speaker 2 5:06

But if you know what you want , then it's really hard for you to find that person to fulfill what you want . I feel that the dating pool in general it's sucked in both ways and everywhere , so not just in Vegas everywhere , because now we're too fake on both ways too , and we are more into what do you bring to the table , and that's okay , because we're adults , we have to be responsible too . But not just that , it's like it goes both ways , okay it goes both ways .

Speaker 2 5:37

So I feel that , yes , it's really hard to date in general , no matter where you are . And just be smart and be single . It's okay to be single . I learned now how to be single . Honestly , I had that mentality since little . Literally , you break out because you already have another date Right okay , so it was just jumping from one to another one , like boyfriends or dating or whatever .

Speaker 2 5:58

And then it's the first time that I'm okay being alone . It's like I'm learning about myself . And it's okay to go out with friends . It's okay to go out by yourself . It's like I'm learning about that .

Speaker 1 6:09

Yeah , yeah . So I mean I think you're absolutely right , but I think that , like certain people , they kind of stay in that realm and move in that movement too long . You get what

Moving to Vegas and Past Relationships

Speaker 1 6:30

I'm saying .

Speaker 2 6:30

I agree it's scary yeah .

Speaker 1 6:32

So it's like , it's one of those things . It's like and I say this with a lot of other movements too Like , okay , you could swim in the pool , but eventually you had to get out . And you know , once you found yourself , like , if you find yourself and you just remain alone , then you know and this is with anybody right I would say that you're going to become that crazy person that people talk about .

Speaker 2 6:57

This is the thing I feel that when you are too much , you spend too much time on the same position even if dating or a marriage that you don't like or whatever , it's really hard to get out , you get comfortable , Exactly how you get comfortable in a relationship that it's not healthy for you . You get comfortable being alone , and I'm afraid of those things too . To be honest , I don't want it . I want to find the right person , but I'm not looking either , so I'm just enjoying my time . I'm not even dating time . I'm not in a dating pool . I don't care if someone shows up or not . It's like literally you ask me for my number . I say what ? Do you want it ? Why ?

Speaker 2 7:28

Give me a reason why I should give you my number .

Speaker 1 7:30

Okay .

Speaker 2 7:32

That's my first question I'm doing right now , and if your answer doesn't make no sense for me , I'm saying maybe next time .

Speaker 1 7:36

But okay , it could be a nice person .

Speaker 2 7:37

I have made like nice person , but if they're not ready for a relationship , we're not ready to what I need to , then we're gonna damage herself , both of us do you know what you need or what ?

Speaker 2 7:57

I feel we don't know . Okay , we go , we go with the flow . No , we can't know you . You learn a little bit when you're by yourself , when you can learn a little bit when you're by yourself , when you can learn a little bit what you would really want , and then the person that I would make space in my closet have to deserve that I have to deserve that .

Speaker 1 8:14

But what is it that exactly ? Let's take a step back real quick for the , for viewers sake , right , sure , what is ? What is it that I'm gonna follow with something else , so just let me land here . But what is it that you like ? What would be the foundation of what you truly want ?

Speaker 2 8:37

the commitment . It's uh , it's really hard to find someone that commit to be loyal and to be open . And first thing that I like , it's just someone that it's honest . If this first date you're honest and you said , hey , you know what this is , who I am , I'm going to tell you who I am too , and I will tell you since day one . This is what I'm looking for and I say it all the time and like I'm not rude , I'm not mean , but if my words sounds rude to you , let me know and I will definitely will explain what I mean . I have no intentions to hurt nobody , neither I want to hurt .

Speaker 2 9:10

So I have to go both ways , and all I want is just someone with the commitment that it's loyal and be open to talking issues that we may have . That's all I ask , okay .

Speaker 1 9:21

But it's hard . That's all I ask , okay , so ? Sorry see , this is where guys get a little confused at because , like um and my , my grandmother told me this a long time ago . I didn't understand it until I got an adult they say that a woman truly never knows what she wants , and then she never fully matures until she gets around 50 oh , wow you know .

Speaker 1 9:44

And so then I had I used to date older women um , I still do , but not like how older this woman was at this time and she told me I was young . She told me , look , you could keep on trying to figure it out , but you'll never figure out , because a woman that you mess with she doesn't know exactly what she wants because she's only mature to everything that she got up until this point .

Speaker 2 10:16

It makes sense and I agree , but I feel that all of us , not just females , males too you don't know exactly what you want until you get into it . So you know that you want a fast card until you get into it , and when you get it it's like oh , maybe I should not get that fast or maybe I should want more space or maybe so you don't know until you get to it , but I feel that your experiences kind of give you an idea what you're looking for .

Speaker 2 10:45

And then the rest is just where you make for your partner , because then once you find a person that it's not perfect but it's kind of like , okay , you understand the flags that he have , it's something you can work with . Then we can mate it together and then work together on what I really want and what you really want , because it's not just what I want . It's what we both want , but at least the basic have to be the same .

Speaker 1 11:08

Yeah , I could agree with that , and we're hormones like we are , like emotional person .

Speaker 2 11:12

We can have like , and one month we goes ups and down and maybe we want something . Then we don't like anymore and then we it's , it's .

Speaker 1 11:18

I understand that too but at least you know the basic have to be the same , have to be yeah , that's , that's kind of how it is for me and I I can't speak for all men , but the man that I hang out with , they kind of we kind of have a foundation on what we want .

Speaker 1 11:36

It might be a different foundation on what we want , but , um , like for me , um , like the first thing I say right off the bat dating me is hard , being with me is hard , like I'm always busy , um , and I don't . I would never . I don't put a gun to nobody's head , I don't make you do these things , but certain things that I , in a relationship , I expect , or in dating , I expect , I live by the three F's . I already said a million times , I'm not going to say it again , but if they can't , even if they're not willing to do the , the three F's , um , and for the viewers that know that watch this show , you know what I'm talking about and they're , uh , not willing to do the three F's , then like for me , at this point in time in my life , I have no need for them .

Speaker 1 12:26

You know what I'm saying I'm not saying I'm looking for anybody , but yeah , it has to . That foundation for me has to , has to be there .

Speaker 2 12:34

You know which one there are . That's easy , and you know from the beginning . As soon you cross the word with someone , you know if it could be or it's definitely not going to be .

Speaker 1 12:43

So we know , we know .

Speaker 2 12:45

We just take the risk , and then we have that reality distortion that we think that it will work out , when we actually know that it's not going to be . So that is our fault too .

Speaker 1 12:55

Do people ever tell you like , like ? Do men ever tell you that it's like hard to approach you ?

Speaker 2 13:01

Yes , someone told me that once . It said I it was a good friend of mine and I said it's uh , because they , oh you , probably get hit a lot . I worried , I was like , no , to be honest , not none at all , and and I was wondering why , why nobody say anything to me , you know ? And I was like , well , honestly , it's that you look like a high standards .

Speaker 1 13:22

I'm like I'm not , I'm definitely I could see that and you know so with most pretty women like they're unapproachable why that's a good question .

Speaker 2 13:34

Why why it's so hard to just say something ?

Speaker 1 13:38

now this is where men fail at , because a lot of men are afraid to approach . You know , I'm saying so like they're afraid of the other rejection but I'm being honest with you .

Speaker 2 13:51

I'm the kind of person I think guys approach when we open that door . We are the one who opened that door for you guys to go so I always say that like it's just like a little eye contact or a smile .

Speaker 1 14:03

I definitely agree , or something .

Speaker 2 14:05

It's really hard to have a guy that you will go to without that little click before anything .

Speaker 1 14:11

Yeah , I definitely agree , because I don't really do too much approaching women , I think that I mean , my mindset is like they have enough guys by fucking kicking down their door , you know , jumping in their inbox and shit like that . So for me , like I had to have some kind of indication that , that they want to be approached .

Speaker 1 14:38

you know I'm saying like not that I'm afraid of it , but more so like like we're both adults and you know I'll be , I'll come correct , whatever , but I'm not about to just be , I'm not like gonna be like other guys there are guys they don't know .

Speaker 2 14:52

There are guys that don't see those clicks .

Speaker 1 14:54

Sometimes they don't , they don't see the , they don't see it , they just I don't know I think they might see it , but they're they're oblivious to it because , like I said , they're scared , you know what I'm saying . Insecurities , possibly . You know , like you say , there's not a lot that approach you . I think they're really scared of you .

Speaker 2 15:15

Why I don't get that . I'm like a really nice person . I'm open to talk about anything .

Speaker 1 15:20

But you know that .

Speaker 2 15:21

Even from day one . They don't know that , but I don't know what else I'm going to do Like Like Again Is . What are you guys expecting from us ? That's the question I don't expect anything . I mean Not you , I know , I know , because if we are too much , then it's not nice , it's , it's annoying . I'm I'm still a believer . We still have to be respectful , because I don't want to be the night girl , I want to be the wife , the partner . So there's a difference between those two .

Speaker 1 15:54

I think , since we live in the Instagram age and the social media age .

Speaker 2 15:58

Mine's still private . My Instagram is still private . You are not my friend , I'm not . You're not going to see it , that's good .

Speaker 1 16:05

But for all the thousands of other girls it's not , and you go look at their shit like I have no fucking chance , you know , I mean I have no .

Speaker 1 16:14

You know , because they , we live in a society where , like , if you think about it , like most guys would probably get at women on social media . You know , um , my , my aunt , fran , is a show , um , she has a dating um company where she's a matchmaker and and I would probably say that , um , her being a matchmaker , even the guys like a lot , a lot , a lot of money . They're , they're , they're still afraid to approach because they're afraid of that rejection , you know . So I had to have that matchmaker or or whatever the case may be . Um

Dating Pool Challenges in Vegas

Speaker 1 16:50

, and then , like I said , instagram , like most of the time most guys get left on red or get left on scent , you know . So it makes it kind of hard for for men because it , like you gotta most women , before she even conversates with you , she's going to , she's going to explore your instagram or try to see what you're about a lot of times , even on your lights and your comments on your photos .

Speaker 1 17:15

We will , yeah , we're going to go through those , yeah so I think , personally , I could be a dating coach for men because , like I don't think women's the hard part , I don't think getting women's the hard part in my opinion .

Speaker 1 17:31

Maybe , Keeping them . Yes , and it's the first point of contact . This might be the hard part for guys . You know , like I feel like if you relatively keep yourself looking right , be the best , you make the most , try to make as much money as possible , do the things in life you're going to like . If you build it , they'll come . That's how I look at life . So even on this show , as I try to tell men , it's like okay , look a woman , most of the time she's going to look you down and up . You know what I'm saying , not up and down like we do . You know what I'm saying . So it's reversed . So she's going to look you down and go okay , do you have decent shoes ? Do you have a nice situation going on ? Are you fat ? You know what I'm saying . Are you too skinny ? It could be too fat or too skinny Women don't feel like he can protect you , right ?

Speaker 2 18:28

It's just that I don't think it goes with me . I'm not skinny .

Speaker 1 18:31

Okay , I don't think it's going to be this proportional . What about really fat men ?

Speaker 2 18:35

Neither but hey , I appreciate that belly , that little belly , it's okay and it's good . Well , we're not talking about like the dad , but we're talking about like you know , like a biggie , big punt , you know . It's that someone who don't even my thing is like when you are that big , it's like you don't even take care of yourself . That's where you get that . So how are you going to take care of me ?

Speaker 1 18:55

It's like it's too much .

Speaker 2 19:06

So there's the limit where it's okay , and it's the same with skinny . I understand you know genes , genetic and all that , but still you have to work on yourself too .

Speaker 1 19:10

It's , but too skinny it's , just because they don't go with me it's , but that's what most women say , like they want . But I know girls they love skinny guys .

Speaker 2 19:15

Hey , you know fat , no , but skinny . I know a lot of girls that like that I can see that .

Speaker 1 19:20

You know , I heard , I heard you know being at , I know a lot of women . I heard different things or their logic of why they like skinnier men . But most women that I talk to they don't like them too skinny because they feel like but I don't like six pack neither . So you like him just in the middle .

Speaker 2 19:35

Just a normal .

Speaker 1 19:36

You just want to ride with Billy . I don't like , yeah , just a normal guy .

Speaker 2 19:39

I feel that the six pack guy is way too much Focused on those things and it's not gonna have Enough time for me . Okay , it's gonna be that person that you can't have a drink Because you know it's not okay for the diet . You can't do this Because I have to sleep and it's too much that you can't and that's not fun either . It has to be in between Normal . Normal you can't work out and don't have to be a six pack no , I agree .

Speaker 1 20:02

Um , so what would you say would be the most ?

Speaker 2 20:06

honestly , I don't really think to you the , the chemistry . I have seen guys that I have not even had a word with a guy in , in and I call my attention . So if there's something that I believe I don't practice in a relation , but I feel that energy is real and you can connect with the person even before cross the word .

Speaker 1 20:28

Absolutely .

Speaker 2 20:28

Even if it's not your type my type could be whatever . And then maybe this person it's completely the opposite , but it calls your attention . Why , who knows ?

Speaker 1 20:38

I think energy plays a big part . I 100% agree with that . Energy , yes , and I think if a person has like a command presence , you know , if a guy comes in and he don't have to say too much , he kind of controls the room , take notes , he kind of controls the room , you know , without it having to say anything , right , or he has that mystique about him or whatever , and he's just cool , kind of collected , not over the top , whatever .

Speaker 2 21:07

I like the nice guy .

Speaker 1 21:09

Yeah .

Speaker 2 21:10

I don't like the clown guy , those ones that get on the show and then they want to be .

Speaker 1 21:15

no , I can't handle this , doing all that talking and shit . No , I can't handle that .

Speaker 2 21:18

I'd rather have the guy who don't talk that much just listen to it and be quiet on the corner . I like that . Well , it gives you like it's a smart guy .

Speaker 1 21:26

Yeah .

Speaker 2 21:27

Someone that is just taking notes .

Speaker 1 21:28

I think that's where you know I'm not trying to toot my own horn or anything , but that's where I prevail at . I'm like a silent assassin . You know where I go in . I'm cool with everybody shaking hands , kiss babies , shit like that . But I'm not over the top , like even like with like jewelry , like clothing and stuff , like . I'm just chill . You know , we just relax . You know , um , I'm not trying to be seen , you know . I'm saying I'm just trying to be , I'm there , but I don't need to be the focal front of shit , like I let me neither everybody .

Speaker 1 21:58

I say I tell guys all the time I leave that for the women . You let them be the focal front , because I don't give a fuck about being pretty or cute or anything like that , as long as I can command people's attention that's it .

Speaker 2 22:13

What's the point ? What's the point ? To be the center of the attention ?

Speaker 1 22:17

I think that's a woman's trait .

Speaker 2 22:19

But you know there's a lot of guys like that .

Speaker 1 22:22

A lot of guys are feminine .

Speaker 2 22:24

That's today's day . We are like is that real ? We become more into our masculine energy and then guys become more feminine .

Speaker 1 22:34

I don't know , definitely the roles have reversed , yeah , and .

Speaker 2 22:37

I'm not okay with that . I'm still believing I am and I'm not . I'm still believing that we have served things . That goes with a go to female and male . I believe that a female if you are going to create a family and you have a partner that you choose for you choose it as a person you want to there's always a captain and co-captain . You can't be the same . You have to let him guide and then you have to be under , always have to be like that . Now you to choose why , who is going to be in charge . But it's , it's today's day . A lot of girls , they just want to be same or even more , sometimes more in charge of like everything , and that's .

Speaker 1 23:16

That's not okay I think that's for me . You know I'm . If they have those kind of traits like I , I kind of get turned off easy . I do . I understand , like you know , you got to sometimes work past a wall . But if they're in their masculine then they're not for me , you know .

Speaker 2 23:35

I feel it's okay to be in that energy when you're not alone .

Speaker 1 23:39

When you're single , you have to yeah sure , when you're single , yeah , yeah .

Speaker 2 23:40

You have to because otherwise you're going to fail in life . But once you get that person that you feel confident and you want to build something or you want to open that door , at least for that person , you have to step back a little bit , just let it be and see what's going to happen . I don't care if you open the door for me , I don't want you to open the door . There's other things that you have to prove , you have to show , and sometimes we are not like that prove , you have to show and , and sometimes we , we are not like that .

Speaker 1 24:12

I met this um this lady , and you know we're talking um , you know , not like flirting or anything , just talking , and um she asked me why the dating pool in vegas sucks and I said oh shit next time just ask her where ?

Speaker 2 24:22

where can we go ? That it's not gonna suck .

Speaker 1 24:24

I would love to know that yeah , that's kind of where I I kind of led to . I'm like , I think I don't think it's just a vegas thing . I mean vegas is faster than most cities , but , um , I I'd be around all around the world , I've been all around the country and , um , even the small cities , like they got that person , that's the man or the girl of that city or that town , and they kind of had the pick of the lither . So they kind of is like the player of the town or the whatever of the town . You know what I'm saying .

Speaker 1 25:06

And so it's like I mean , anywhere you go like I didn't been in arizona and I've been in small towns in florida , small towns in texas , even in nashville , I met a lot of promiscuous women and I met a lot of men . That was you , you know , that was getting their shit off . And then , you know , I used to work in the hotels here and I meet a lot of men that live in Nebraska or whatever the case may be , and they're coming here to get the prostitutes and stuff , like you know what I mean . Like , so I don't think it's not one place that you can say that dating pool is stuck . Then I get to shit where it's like . Oh well , in the South it's a little bit better .

Speaker 2 25:46

I'm like not really . Where do they meet with the South ? What part ?

Speaker 1 25:51

I lived in the South , I met some dudes . I've never seen somebody go through so much scheming and plotting on cheating than I have in the South . You know what I'm saying and I I mean that's just me . Um , you know knowing these guys or whatever , but I don't think that is like even in different countries , like I know dudes , like in el salvador or whatever I know dudes in . You know that that go back and forth to like guatemala , you know all these different other places and you know it's kind of the same .

Speaker 1 26:22

You know they just their wives are just might be , or their women might just be , homemakers there , so they don't know what the fuck is going on and shit , but I think it's . I think it's everywhere it's everywhere .

Speaker 2 26:33

I agree . My when I got divorced , I said I would never date a cuban again , like I don't want it . I don't want it , no more why do I hear that ?

Speaker 2 26:42

I hear that a lot like my experience , honestly , what I think about male cuban males not all of them , but like most of the , the ones from the capital , like the main cities , uh , they're not hard workers if you look around , like the woman , the female cubans , they work harder than guys and that is an attractive too . I don't want you to work like 12 hours a day , but I want to feel that if I'm not there , at least you're going to back me up .

Speaker 1 27:11

You're going to be there to help me , yeah .

Speaker 2 27:13

You know , but what I've seen , like if you look around , what do Cubans do ? Uber ? Some of them work at a casino . I'm not saying no .

Speaker 1 27:21

But most of them are females .

Speaker 2 27:22

It's more girls than guys , but 100% Uber drivers would be Cubans , and that's okay . I'm not having anything against that . It's just like what is your goal ? What are you offering Like for real ? What's going to happen later on ?

Speaker 1 27:36

Or back in the day , like you used to be cab drivers .

Speaker 2 27:40

Yeah , exactly , or Amazon cab drivers yeah , exactly , or amazon amazon delivery . It's just cubans and that's okay . I'm not hating on them , I'm just saying that it's . I don't feel they have the same um goals or the same ideas when it goes to to that . Now , after I got divorced my ex he's from new york- oh , is he Cuban too ?

Speaker 1 28:01

No , no , no . Okay , he's from New York . Is he Dominican , puerto Rican ?

Speaker 2 28:04

No , actually he's England and Filipino .

Speaker 1 28:08

Oh , that's interesting . So the dad is .

Speaker 2 28:09

England and the mom is Filipino .

Speaker 1 28:11

Okay .

Speaker 2 28:12

And after him I say , oh shit , I'm okay with Cubans , I don't want a New Yorker . I will handle date a New Yorker anymore . Oh my God .

Speaker 1 28:21

I heard a lot about that . I know a lot of Spanish women , you know and I hear a lot about .

Speaker 2 28:31

Like Dominican men . I feel that when it goes to Latinos , caribbean , like anyone , like Cuban , puerto Rican , dominican they are professional che and Lazy Lazy . Now , if you go to Latin America and I love Colombians , colombians I feel the accent , the culture , I like them , but it's it's a different culture , even when saying language and everything . It's a completely different culture too when it goes to .

Speaker 1 29:01

Because Do you speak more Portuguese or do you speak more um portuguese or do you speak more ? Like spanish , okay , okay you know , because , like I didn't know it was , you know I'm from california , you know , so I didn't know spanish was different until , like you know , I started moving around and like like they don't speak no they don't speak . You know like they speak more portuguese and see , I'm like what ? Like you know , I can understand A little bit of Spanish , but like , yeah , like , the Portuguese Is like way faster , it's different .

Speaker 2 29:29

Same with Italian . It's a Sounds . You can get some words If you you know if they go slow , but if they go fast it's like oh shoot , I don't know where to talk I'm lost .

Speaker 1 29:38

I'm lost . Yeah , that's how it was . I'm like I'm speaking , I'm trying to attempt to speak Spanish to this couple one time and they spoke Portuguese . I'm young , I'm like 20 , 21 , whatever , and they can't understand a word . I say I can't understand a word they say Because you know , like I said , I grew up in California , so like it's almost a necessity to kind of know a little bit of Spanish . You know what I'm saying ? Because everybody out there is fucking either from Mexico or somewhere in the neighboring countries and shit . So it's Spanish , it's good .

Speaker 2 30:13

It's just to know any other language , so that's a matter of which one . If you speak another language , that was good . It will help not to get a job , not to talk to people . I feel that anything that you learn will help not to get a job , not to talk to people . I feel that anything that you learn will help you to become smarter and then be open to learn more things in life , in general .

Speaker 1 30:31

Yeah , I agree with that .

Speaker 2 30:32

Like you could never stop learning , you know , uh , you say , a day that you didn't learn anything is a day that you lost your waist that .

Speaker 1 30:40

That's a good analogy . I'm going to steal that from you . I'm going to steal that from you . I like that . So you got married , you got divorced , you dated the guy from New York , and then what happened after that ?

Speaker 2 30:56

We broke out . I dated for a couple months a Cuban guy . We were friends , we were good friends before and we would date for a couple months . Cuban guide . We were friends , we were good friends before and we would date for a couple months . But it didn't work out . We were just it would . It was not gonna work , but it was just a little bit . It was just a couple months and that's it . Now I have a good friend of mine who moved to vegas , so at least I have a friend to hang out so now I have a partner to go out once in a while , and that's it .

Speaker 2 31:20

That's it just working , and I'm not closed , I'm open and I have been texting guys before too but , I noticed honestly that I have been really strict with my boundaries , what it goes to .

Speaker 2 31:35

Before there was zero boundaries . Oh , I don't like this . Oh , but he does that . Maybe I will change that , you know . So now I'm learning to . Okay , this is something I don't like . I'm not going to talk to you , no more , that's it . I mean we can be friends , but definitely the conversation is not going to be about anything else than friends . Like I don't like drugs me personally , I don't do drugs , none at all yeah . I can drink alcohol when we party , but if you do more than that , depend where you do .

Speaker 1 32:03

If it's decent drug , that's okay so it was like coke or something .

Speaker 2 32:08

No , absolutely no , you smoke weed .

Speaker 1 32:10

I don't care oh , that's not really a drug , is it ?

Speaker 2 32:12

it's no , not anymore . But I'm saying like I don't care . But I'm saying I see that you are doing something else than that . I don't care .

Speaker 1 32:20

If it's a party thing , I'm not going to be with you yeah , that's kind of um I don't , I don't like that that's kind of me too , like I , I smoke cigars , you know , but like like I'm , you know , if a person smokes weed that's fine , whatever , but I don't really smoke outside of the cigars , like when I go to cigar lounges and and , um , you know , I never done any drugs and and so , like you know , I know plenty of girls that might have messed around with coke , shit like that , whatever it's .

Speaker 2 32:47

Vegas .

Speaker 1 32:47

Yeah , yeah , I know plenty of people in that life or whatever , but I don't know , that just has never been my thing . I don't want- .

Speaker 2 32:58

I've never tried honestly , me neither , and I'm not into it , none of them .

Speaker 1 33:01

I just seen too like . I just seen too many like fiends and shit growing up , you know , and like I said , shit , I don't ever want to be like that . I think I have an addictive personality Like . So like with cologne , shoes and shit like that . You know like , that's my addictive personality , you know , like for a time it used to be women . You know , like women I was a womanizer you know what I'm saying ?

Speaker 1 33:24

Like

Boundaries and Self-Discovery

Speaker 1 33:25

that's my addictive personality . So if I'm , if I know that I have an addictive personality , I yeah , I don't want to do that shit because I don't want to . That was me too .

Speaker 2 33:38

I was always the same . I was saying I know I'm not that strong on attitude . I said , okay , that's it . I know why . To try something if you know that it could be dangerous for you . You're going to put yourself in that position . I'd rather not to . I don't need to . I know if I get like three shots of tequila I'm going to have a lot of fun . I don't need anything else in bed .

Speaker 1 33:58

And if I'm tired , I'm tired , go to sleep .

Speaker 2 34:00

Tomorrow will be another day .

Speaker 1 34:01

You know the worst time . I stopped drinking tequila a long time ago . I call it tequila scum juice . I say this because one night , this is a long time ago , me and my boy , we used to tell people I'm Dominican , he's Puerto Rican . We're not , but he knows Spanish , I know a little bit of Spanish .

Speaker 1 34:20

You can always blame on your parents , say oh they teach me Spanish , and so you know , I used to tell people I'm Dominican on the weekends and he's Puerto Rican on the weekends and shit . And so like we're meeting all these girls , right , senior frogs and stuff like that and tequila , right next thing . You know , like I'm in the back seat of somebody's alexis , like knocked out you know what I'm saying . Like it was , it was this girl that came and picked this up . She , um , she was , she was good for that . You know we went to ihop , like I'm throwing up and stuff . You know , like I feel like tequila puts me on my worst behavior , so I don't , I don't drink it . You know I might have a shot here or there if I go to like I like tequila when I'm at home with my family .

Speaker 2 35:06

We have a party , then we go all the way . I can see that Now if I'm outside , it's that I like drinks that are sweet too . So , sweet drinks are usually like mixed ones , are kind of like tricky as well , because you drink it like juice and then you feel after so I'd rather go for some time . Shots too , like yeah , but I don't drink beer , I don't like champagne , I don't like see that , see , that's my room like beer , champagne , stuff .

Speaker 1 35:31

You know like I'm not a heavy drinker anymore , so I'm just here to drink for conversational people yeah , you know , you can have those things too when it's just like a one yeah , you know I take a shot of some you know here there .

Speaker 2 35:43

You know , if I'm in a cool environment I do like a little bit , just a little bit , just to yeah yeah , no , there's nothing wrong with that , you know , I just couldn't do it , especially tequila man . No , no , mas no , my respect to tequila . Yeah , try mezcal , that's even worse try what mezcal , that's . That's from Mexico too . It's different than tequila , but that's even worse .

Speaker 1 36:07

I think I might have tried that , like when I go to Mexico .

Speaker 2 36:11

The flavor is different . Yeah , it's not burning your throat , but it's still in your mouth like that flavor .

Speaker 1 36:17

You can tell it's pure or not .

Speaker 2 36:19

But it's really good to get drunk .

Speaker 1 36:22

Do you like Mexico ?

Speaker 2 36:24

You know I came from Mexico . I went to Cuba , mexico , mexico , vegas , and I've never been back .

Speaker 1 36:30

Really .

Speaker 2 36:31

Yeah , never . I've never been back . I want to go , but it depends . I do want to go because Cancun they're all inclusive , it sounds . I don't like Cancun .

Speaker 1 36:41

You don't , because Cancun they're all inclusive .

Speaker 2 36:42

It sounds . I don't like Cancun . You don't like Cancun ? No , why not ?

Speaker 1 36:45

It's too Americanized . It's kind of dirty too .

Speaker 2 36:49

Do you like Cabos ?

Speaker 1 36:51

It's cool . I'm more of like a Tulum type of person . Tulum , you know more commerce cities but they have shit there to do . But I fell in love with Tulum and then I just look at .

Speaker 2 37:03

Cancun oh okay , no , I had never been .

Speaker 1 37:06

I've been to so many different spots in Mexico . I used to take a lot of cruises , but I've been there . I fly for free , so I've been there a lot of times and , yeah , I will say by far , tulum right now is my favorite .

Speaker 2 37:21

It's your favorite .

Speaker 1 37:21

Cabo used to be like back in the day , but Tulum right now .

Speaker 2 37:24

I'm going to add it on my list , you should go Tulum , for sure .

Speaker 1 37:28

What about , like anywhere else outside of Cuba ?

Speaker 2 37:30

No , I have never gone outside of the United States , to be honest , Cuba . I went to Bahamas on a cruise too , and it was good . But , usually I stay here in the States . You know it's hard , because when you work in the casinos too , you only have two weeks of vacation a year , so it's really hard to get the two weeks together . And it's really hard to go to a place when you only have like a week and it's . You know , I have to match with the family .

Speaker 2 37:55

Like my kids were at school too , so it's really really hard to get all those .

Speaker 1 38:04

And when we do ? We go to cuba .

Speaker 2 38:05

We stayed here , like on the states so how are you and your ex-husband now like , are you guys ?

Speaker 1 38:08

oh , we're good , you guys good , um we're good , you know , because you know you know some divorces in like no we at the time of the divorce , we struggle .

Speaker 2 38:16

It was complicated because we do have kids in common , so it's it's hard when you get divorced and you have kids . But no , now it has been a while , now it's been a lot so we're sure like once in a while we're good again , so it's okay .

Speaker 1 38:31

Yeah , as long as you guys are able to like , how old are your kids , if you don't mind me ?

Speaker 2 38:34

asking 15 and 11 .

Speaker 1 38:37

15 and 11 . Yes , those are good ages .

Speaker 2 38:40

Yeah , my son . I came here pregnant with my son .

Speaker 1 38:43

Okay , so In 2009 . 15 .

Speaker 2 38:45

So he's about to be 16 .

Speaker 1 38:47

So he's a high schooler .

Speaker 2 38:49

He is a high schooler .

Speaker 1 38:50

Yeah , he's living the life . I think high school is like the best time .

Speaker 2 38:53

It's a good kid . Yeah , my high school was the best time too .

Speaker 1 38:57

You have a lot of fun . I think that's where youngsters , that's where they kind of find themselves . You know what I'm saying . You know because you got all the high school activities that's going on , and especially if you play like a sport too . Like you know , I played football , ran track . So like I had this affinity for , you know , for all the shit that was going on at my schools or whatever .

Speaker 2 39:25

And yeah , high school was very fun you know , I was just telling my son that the other day In Cuba , our high school we were actually leaving at school , so we were going to school Monday and coming out on Friday .

Speaker 1 39:37

So it was kind of like a boarding school .

Speaker 2 39:39

It was like a boarding school .

Speaker 1 39:40

I don't know if I could do that .

Speaker 2 39:41

Oh , that was awesome . Imagine high schoolers like you leaving with your friends . That was actually really good . That's like my friends today's date , my best friends . They're still being from high school . Like I have like three , four good friends , like the only ones that I talk to the most , and they're from that . I was like the , and therefore don't die .

Speaker 1 39:59

I was like the pregnancy rate with that , like do a lot of high schoolers , because I know out here like no , no , no , out here . I never seen so many . Like when I moved out here I never seen so many pregnant high school girls in my life . Like I think I find out like when there's not a lot to do for kids , um , like pregnancies , they go rampant you know what I'm saying because that's the only thing they're doing . They're doing drugs , drugs , and you know sex and you know all that shit . Imagine .

Speaker 2 40:23

Cuba , where there are not even a theater to go for a movie . So , yeah , no but , not really . No , it was a good school , to be honest .

Speaker 1 40:30

It was good .

Speaker 2 40:37

As all the schools out there no , not all of them . So the school that I went to how to call it ? Like AP classes . So , you have to take a test to go to . So if it's like 300 people want to go but I only have capacity for 100 , so you have to take a test .

Speaker 1 40:52

Oh , so it was kind of like a charter school type of deal yeah .

Speaker 2 40:55

It was a good school , so we behaved a little bit . We were not that bad , we were like good kids . Okay of it . We were not that bad , we were like good kids , okay . And this is around the 2090s , 2000 . I don't want to age you . I don't want to say I'm 36 , I'm about to be 37 now , all right .

Speaker 1 41:11

Next sunday okay , well , someone I know that some people they don't like their age exposed so I don't care okay , so I'm afraid of the 40s .

Speaker 2 41:18

I'm not gonna lie why that's like I'm ready for .

Speaker 1 41:20

That should be like your prime age .

Speaker 2 41:23

You know , I feel when I was on the , when you're a teenager , you want to be on the 20s . You're on the 20s and you see yourself going to the 30s . Like I'm going to get so old . I'm going to be 30 now . You know , in Spanish like 30 , it's treinta . So after the 30s we become the top part , like not teenagers anymore .

Speaker 1 41:47

Now it's the top and we're so afraid now my damn , the 30s has been the best time of my life .

Speaker 2 41:50

I think the 30s are ready for the 40s . Yeah , let's see what's gonna happen the 20s .

Speaker 1 41:54

The 20s is fun , but , like most of the time , when you're in your 20s , you're trying to live life . You're kind of broke or whatever . Um , you know your shit like that or whatever . You know shit like that .

Speaker 2 42:03

It's not that fun . You think you got it all and you don't have anything on the 20s . So once you get the 30s when you're like , okay , I feel that now I know a little bit more , now I can have that fun with being responsible too On the 20s , when you take a lot of risk .

Speaker 1 42:19

Yeah , you don't care .

Speaker 2 42:20

You're like , you're wild and free .

Speaker 1 42:22

I tell men like this , like , because this is a little bit different for us than you guys Like . Build yourself in the 20s , Go harder in your 30s .

Speaker 2 42:32

And enjoy it on the 40s .

Speaker 1 42:33

Yeah , in the 40s and 50s . That's when you should be made . You know what I'm saying . Like , don't I even tell guys as much as this it's cool to date , but don't get into full relationships In your 20s , because you're still trying to figure out life and you're broke most of the time . You know what I'm saying . And so In today's time , because women are not going to respect the building of you , they're only going to respect you already built .

Speaker 2 43:01

I disagree with that .

Speaker 1 43:03

Okay , elaborate .

Speaker 2 43:04

I disagree with that . I feel that the right woman would love to be part of your growing . I want to be that person . I don't like the man that is already fully established just because 90% of the time , guys that are established , they look at you as a material , as something . You are here because I already got this , or you're here but I can replace you too . It's not the same .

Speaker 1 43:28

I think you're the minority in that way .

Speaker 2 43:31

I want the guy to have a goal and we will build it together . That's the guy that I like . That's the guy that I appreciate it , because the guys already established they already went through so much and um .

Speaker 1 43:47

The dating pool for that guys is it's easy to pick so you don't , you don't want a guy with like that has the ability to have many options I don't mind .

Speaker 2 43:55

Honestly , as a lot of , I have the trust , but it's really hard to trust Today's day . It's really hard to do and I just want a guy that will be fine and honestly . I'm meeting guys that have been established and what I've seen , the attitude is different , Even the attitude from the beginning . It's different .

Approach Anxiety and Dating Dynamics

Speaker 1 44:20

I can understand that .

Speaker 2 44:20

I don't like that . I , I don't like that . I don't care how much you can make , I'm not gonna make that , I don't care , but we are the same and you I can't . I don't like to feel that .

Speaker 1 44:31

Uh , you see me as someone under you because I don't like it I think , think we're conditioned like that , because I say like this going back , I don't blame them , I don't blame them .

Speaker 2 44:47

I agree with them because that's society too , when so many girls probably play games with that guy before or use that guy . So I understand , but from my perspective I'm not going to do that to you , and if I feel that that's where you think about me , then that's our immediately . I can't do this .

Speaker 1 45:04

Well , I mean a guy , a lot of times a guy has built or how their shit together . I think you're so you got . You're meeting those pseudo guys , that's that I'll say , like this , they're , they got , they worked hard , got to this lane , but now , like this is their first time in this lane , right . But then on the other side of that is , guys has built their shit , but then they got like open minds to shit in life , you know .

Speaker 1 45:29

So they're like you're not a object , but you kind of got to understand his program you know , I'm saying so because I mean , let's be honest , it's kind of hard right , with the guy that you're building , help building with , because , like at any given time , and you're in in your position .

Speaker 2 45:49

Now , right , let's say , you meet a guy , it's really hard because at that age a dizzy 37 that I'm about to be I don't want to date a 30-year-old kid . I will date a 40-year-old man .

Speaker 1 46:00

Yeah , but at 40, . You're building right now . Yeah , exactly that's what I'm saying .

Speaker 2 46:05

It's really hard . That's why the dating at this age it's really hard . But I have seen guys at 40 that it's still like acting like 17 . And I have seen guys on like 40s , that it's still responsible guy , maybe not established , but responsible , and that's what I care the most . I don't care if you made six , seven figures , if your attitude is like a $3 bank account .

Speaker 1 46:30

I'm sorry .

Speaker 2 46:31

Your attitude is more important than anything else , because I'm not rich , neither I'm looking for it . I just want to be happy , and if you're not going to bring the happiness , your money's not going to bring the happiness . Yeah , it would be nice to have a Chanel bag , but I don't care about it .

Speaker 1 46:43

But that goes back to what I was saying earlier . You know , with that guy that walks into the room that has that command present , that mystique guy , right , those guys that know what they got , that know what they can do , like , they know the type of shit that's going on , they're not going to talk about it because they've already been there , they've already been positioned there . You get what I'm saying .

Speaker 2 47:07

You're talking about guys that just get into this level . To be honest , I think it goes to my every person have their own like what they like what they're looking for . There are girls who don't like that kind of attitude . They like more the clown person .

Speaker 1 47:24

Yeah , yeah , yeah , for sure .

Speaker 2 47:26

That game worked for a certain amount of people , so not everyone . So maybe being the quiet on the corner worked for me and it worked for three more girls , but not for the 20 that are in the room . So maybe the other 17s would be like oh , I don't know who he is , I don't even notice that he was there . So that game works for a specific . Every game goes for a specific kind of crowd .

Speaker 2 47:47

So that person , that is the quiet , the energy , it goes with me and it can go with someone else , but that's everywhere . Remember there's seven girls for the men in the world .

Speaker 1 48:01

Yeah , that's true . So you just have to choose the wise one . I think that's another hard part with a lot of guys too is because , like , once you're established , you know it does open up a door to a lot of different women . So you got to kind of… .

Speaker 2 48:18

Be mature . It's just about being mature , because you're going to have a lot of opportunities , but you have to choose too .

Speaker 1 48:24

You have to you got to have good discernment .

Speaker 2 48:26

We are adults , we are responsible for our decisions . And when we make a decision , we already know about the consequences that can come with .

Speaker 1 48:33

Sure .

Speaker 2 48:34

So it's like we just have to be aware of what we're doing and I think we are . It's just that we think we're never going to get caught and that's the biggest problem , but it's and honestly , I always say the same . I'm not even worried about a guy who shit on me . That's not my biggest concern . My biggest concern is about the commitment , and when it goes to loyal , it doesn't mean just the shitting part . There's so much more than just the shitting .

Speaker 2 49:01

For me , guy , texting someone is even worse than if you go out , you have a party with your friends . This girl go crazy on you and then something happened with that girl that night . But if you build that texting day by day , even if you have not having anything , that's even worse for me that that night that you fuck it up I get because you're building more of a like a bond connection .

Speaker 2 49:25

You're building more emotionals . You're taking that time from me to give it to someone else , so you're taking that energy to someone else . That is definitely .

Speaker 1 49:35

For me , it's even worse than anything even if you have done nothing , I definitely understand that . Even if you have done nothing , I definitely understand that , because , shit , I've done that before you know , a few times we all have been in that position .

Speaker 2 49:45

I'm not like that person who would say , oh , I never text someone . No , you have , we all have done that . But we know sometimes it's just the game of the texting part , because we like that we're humans and we like to feel I'm a female . I love when a guy say texas , you look pretty today I like that , I'm like hey , I like that . We all like that too , but doesn't mean that I'm gonna disrespect my partner too and say , hey , follow that .

Speaker 1 50:12

no , that's not okay . Yeah , I , I can agree with you , um , and like I said , like it's times that I've done that shit , and like looking back at it , like once she had my told me like how she felt about it or whatever the case may be , um , and getting out of my own selfish ways , I'm like , oh , I can see where it's going Because you'd be like well , I didn't fuck .

Speaker 1 50:34

that person is , is , is innocent . But then , like you know her saying it and you know , and she's feeling this way and you know , and you know it could be a breakup because of that , or breakups happen because of that , and you're thinking like damn , like she might have been on to something .

Speaker 2 50:53

Always think about it . If you have to hide it or delete it , then there's not innocence on it . There's nothing innocent on it .

Speaker 1 51:01

True , but what if you keep it there ? But you're talking to that person , it's still the same To be honest , the point of keeping it .

Speaker 2 51:07

If your girl , if I'm being in that position too , finding something , and if you're keeping it , depend what kind of conversation goes to Depend what's going on too , we can definitely have like , hey , explain this to me , let me understand this kind of friendship that you have . I'm open to talk to you , I'm open to let you explain it to me . Now , if you become with like , what are you looking at my phone ? That's a big problem . It's like I understand I don't have to look at your phone . I agree with you 100% . But if , for some reason , this pop up on we're watching a tv show on your phone as something on youtube and then a text message come out , I have the right to ask you about it and if you think that I can't ask you about it , then we should not be in that relationship .

Speaker 2 51:52

Because I do . I will be able to give you all explanation . Anything you ask for , I will explain to you . I feel that I have to . You have the right to ask me , for I will explain to you , I feel that I have to . You have the right to ask me for it , how . I have the right to ask you too . It goes both ways . So this is a relationship how we're going to build something when I'm hiding something from you and I can't ask you I can't be myself and ask you a simple question , then we should not be together .

Speaker 1 52:14

Yeah .

Speaker 2 52:14

That's what I'm saying , that I've been a little more mean lately .

Speaker 1 52:18

I mean that's about practical , though , like you know , you would think it's true .

Speaker 2 52:22

Why am I going to waste my time and your time ? So , if this is something I don't like and this is what I need , and if you can't give me that , eventually we're going to break up . This is going to be ending . This is the beginning of the end . So why are we going to waste time ? I don't have time to waste . I'm not in the 20s . I'm going to be in the 40s soon enough .

Speaker 1 52:41

Yeah .

Speaker 2 52:41

So do you think I have time to waste with someone that it's not on the same level ?

Speaker 1 52:45

No , I don't so you don't mind if a guy might be dating multiple women while you're dating , but no , I do .

Speaker 2 52:59

You do so if you meet a guy today and he's dating most and he tells you you gotta , I would tell you this if we met I met a guy today and the guy the guy invited me to go out and we go out dinner . We have been out like two or three times just dinner , fun like , but nothing else I would be okay , like I don't care . To be honest , I don't . I don't care because I'm being honest too , I may be texting other guys , so so do him like .

Speaker 2 53:24

I'm not the kind of person I would go out with everyone , because I feel that if I'm going out with the guys because I'm going to put more energy on it , I'm going to work on this one , but I'm still going to have the plan bcd on the phone . I will . I'm not going to lie to you now . If we , because it , because it happens to me before when I met my ex , I met my ex on a dating app . When we become okay , this is going to be serious . I literally text the other guy and say , hey , I'm in a relationship , don't text him anymore .

Speaker 1 53:48

Damn . Well , that's kind of mean .

Speaker 2 53:50

No , it's not , but I say it no-transcript it's , it's over , that's it , and say we can be friends , but don't text me anything , because I do have a partner now . So if you and I can be like that , it's like you text me something , I'm gonna block you and we can be friends . So just be respectful with that too . So if once we cross that dating and we go for more , yes , I'm expecting him to cut it off too , because I will do the same thing , you do the same thing and I don't see that .

Speaker 2 54:34

It's something that it's it bothers me a lot , like , let's say , I go out with a guy to a restaurant and then he goes out to the same restaurant with someone else .

Relationship Communication and Trust

Speaker 2 54:45

No , I don't like that .

Speaker 1 54:46

Oh yeah , I don't like that .

Speaker 2 54:47

That's like no , I'm not going to be the joke , I'm not .

Speaker 1 54:51

No , no , I'll say this . I'm ask you a question , but I wanted to say this too , but I wanted to say this too . And the texting , or cheating , I think sometimes the guys , the reason why they do it is not because they can , it's because it may be like sometimes that they could get , they could talk to or get off something that they can't get off with their significant other . You know what I'm saying . So I might be texting .

Speaker 1 55:21

I'm not saying that it's right because it's not right , but I might be texting this person because I could talk to this person more than I could talk to my significant other .

Speaker 2 55:32

Then you should break out .

Speaker 1 55:34

But I don't think it's that easy for guys . No , it's not easy , but it's better for you better for her better for the other person it's like a mature thing .

Speaker 2 55:42

So if you think that the person you have next to you it's not the person , that's the most important part . If you can't talk to the person you're building with or you're sleeping next to , then what are you doing there ? If you can't talk , that's the first thing . You have to be able to say whatever you have to say , even if the other person disagree with you .

Speaker 1 56:01

It's like it's okay we are a partner we have to debate about this I think it might be easier it's really hard done for some guys because and in some women too , but for for more .

Speaker 1 56:11

So for for guys , because they might be invested in other ways with , like he loves her . You know he might love her , he might have a kid by her kids , or you know he might be tied to a lot of different things and you know the separation of , possibly , family , even though , like , what you're doing could jeopardize all that . I'm not saying that , but I think with some guys they do it only because , uh , they're able to talk to you know , because you know .

Speaker 2 56:41

This is the thing with guys . I'm the kind of person who think guys would never leave a female before they have another female , even mom . You don't love your mom until you have your partner . You don't love your partner until you already would get another one . I feel guys are really attached to a female . Guys are really attached to a female and if you are in a relationship and you are talking to someone else because you don't feel that you can talk to your partner , most likely that's going to end , because it's going to happen , I agree .

Speaker 2 57:09

It's going to happen . That person is filling out something that's really important and eventually is going to fill out everything , because that's the most important thing You'll be able to express . I'm the kind of person I talk a lot , a lot . I'm Gemini , so I talk a lot . Oh shit , we're not even going to go there , and I'm really open to listen to everything , I'm definitely going to understand you 100% , even if the conversation is not something that I like .

Speaker 2 57:32

I always said before your partner I have to be your friend and I'm always going to give you your advice as a friend , because your , your happiness , your wealth . It's actually more important to me , their partner , their relationship , because if we don't work as a relation , I'm friend with all my exes , literally I'm friend with all of them , and even the one that I date for a couple months , we're good friends . The one that we I said I would never date a new yorker , no more , and we end like really bad . I'm still be friend of him because I understand him . I understand that he was not ready for it and maybe I put him in the position that is like , uh , your shoes or not , and then I maybe forced him to get that decision and and he wasn't ready . So I don't hate him for that , none at all . I hate him for and I hate it . I disagree with him on the because of his commitment on the relationship was not good enough .

Speaker 2 58:23

So , it was . When I mean commitment , it's not just about cheating or no , it's about being loyal , to talk to you and say , hey , you know what I don't like this .

Speaker 1 58:31

And .

Speaker 2 58:32

I'm okay to say okay , what are we going to do ?

Speaker 1 58:34

Right .

Speaker 2 58:35

I even tell him , like you know what we don't have to break out . You sleep in one room , I sleep in another one . Figure it out what you want to do .

Speaker 1 58:41

But you need to figure it out because I'm not going to be here to figure it out for you , you need to figure it out .

Speaker 2 58:45

And once you figure it out , then we can talk . And if this is not going to work out for you , perfect , we can go different ways .

Speaker 1 59:01

And if you want to do the right were right , but it's gonna be right . It's not halfway right , all right . Last question before we get the hell out of here three advices that you'll get to man . Three advices that you'll get to women . Coming from a woman that's been on both sides of the dating spectrum , my first advice to both .

Speaker 2 59:17

it was going to be . It will be be honest , honestly , it's the best thing you can ever be , and if the person don't like what you said , then that's not your person .

Speaker 1 59:27

That's it .

Speaker 2 59:28

That's for both . On the male side , I will say be patient too .

Speaker 1 59:34

Be , patient .

Speaker 2 59:35

You guys need a lot of patience because we are complicated , I agree . You guys need a lot of patience because we are complicated , I agree . And the third , for the guy to be honest , it's I don't know , I just don't know Commitment . I always going to say it If you made the decision to have a partner , then that's your partner , and if that's not your plan , it's okay to say it from the beginning . We're looking for the same thing too . You never know , maybe you can have a lot of fun with the person .

Speaker 2 1:00:03

if that's all you want to do On the girl's side other than be honest , it's bring it down a little bit . We can't be a man . If we want a man , we have to be the girlie on the relationship always Bingo . Yeah , so bring it down a little bit , that energy . It's not helping you . So far it have not been okay . That's why you're single , including myself .

Speaker 2 1:00:27

So , we need to take it down a little bit . And the third one if it goes to dating , I will say always be dad , mom in a relationship . I feel we need that too . And when it goes to a relationship , guys want to be sure that they have the wife and the mom and the family on you . So if you can't do that , then stay single and come to Vegas and party .

Speaker 1 1:00:57

You heard it here first . On that note , it's a good fucking episode . It didn't even feel like an episode . I just feel like we're just talking shit . I know you want to shout out your socials or anything .

Speaker 2 1:01:07

It's okay , I'm Marilyn Mesa . Ig is the one that I use the most . It's Marilyn underscore Mesa .

Speaker 1 1:01:12

And she might add you , she might not you never know .

Speaker 2 1:01:15

Be nice , have a photo on your profile .

Speaker 1 1:01:18

Don't do no offense to On that note , we're out of here . Like , subscribe , comment , talk your shit . Hit me up in the inbox on Instagram

Relationship Advice for Men and Women

Speaker 1 1:01:28

. That's Elevated One Network , same thing on YouTube and all that other shit and we out . Peace , bye .